Text: “come to my wedding party” March 3, 2008

Yola’s sms suddenly woke me up this early morning. It’s been a long time ago (almost four years), since the last time we met. I have no idea how she could get my number. Much appreciated Yol! She’s one of my school mates. We went also to the same Mathematics, Physics and Chemistry courses during our high school years. For my part, she’s kind of a genie girl and very strict with her education matters. We lost contact somehow since I moved to Bogor and she studied at Andalas University-West Sumatera. Occasionally, once I got back home visiting my grandma and aunts in Padang, I always picked her up and hanged out though only for few hours. I liked her. She’s nowadays a chemist and working somewhere in Jakarta. Don’t know precisely where. From the time I moved to Berlin, luckily Friendster has indeed reconnected our lost relation (I used to have FS account, but in 2005 I decided to delete it for some private reasons, but again WHO CARES) and we’re still in touch thus far.

Briefly to say, she wanted giving me her wedding invitation for the next month. She’ll send the invitation to Holy (my sista) in Jakarta. They went to the same University in The South of Jakarta for some years ago. In case, should you come home by that time, your presence is highly appreciated, she said. Honestly, I was truly surprised with this lovely news, since she never got any relationship during her studies: junior, high school, and college (as long as I remember though). For this reason I guess it was because the one that she used to love was already occupied that time (in high school, I forgot his name) and decided to move forward concentrating with her career. Good girl, huh? Now she is suddenly getting married without any gossip telling me that she was in relationship with someone before! Cool, isn’t?

I kept reading her sms many times and working on with my stupid thoughts. As usual I tried to analyze everything! I was still curious whether she’s kidding me or not. Till I realised, yes it’s definitely true. She’s indeed getting married soon. In fact, earlier than me! She also admitted that she was surprised and still couldn’t believe it. Gosh!! Am I jealous? Well, pretty much N-O-T! Or maybe yes? Damn, no way!! Well I’ve planned myself honestly for not getting married before 27 or 28 though. I am pretty sure it is not a jealousy issue, but it is indeed marvelous news. Besides, it must have been a very HUGE decision in entire of your life!

Eventually, does it also mean that your love experiences (past relationships) apparently do not affect your marriage life/plan/age?!! In Yola’s case I thought (hate for saying this part) that I’m the one who supposed to get married first than her, since I had quite few experiences in dating someone (bad thought huh? Yeah). But the fact has proved that there is no correlation between your past and your marriage. Or should it be the opposite way? I meant the more experiences you have in relationship, the later you get married? I really feel so insecure now! Please speak your mind guys, help me.

If you would say, it’s all about God’s Will. I do agree!

Yeah relationship is too much complicated and always ends up with badly tears. Why is that? Because we expect too much for our relationship and sometimes you become dishonest with yourself. I hate it! But everybody still needs someone to accompany.

Is it true that marriage is the only one answer? I and Tommy (a friend) chatted this morning. He just got married two weeks ago and he persuaded me to get married as soon as possible. He said: “Marriage helps you to get closer with your God, she (read: his wife) always reminds me to pray and read Quran”. I answered it spontaneously: “Oh bullshit, this case won’t come up to ladies who married white men. Get real! Do not make any generalization here”. Suddenly he said: “yeah, you’re absolutely right”! SEE?

Imogen stubbs said: “Married couples are no longer seen as the “norm” and that two-thirds of people see marriage and cohabitation as indistinguishable. Most people now see a wedding as an excuse for a party rather than as a declaration of lifelong commitment”. So scary I guess! Is it real? Although lifelong commitment sounds so heavy for me, but that’s what marriage is for. Isn’t it?

Ohh this wedding sms bothers my mind so much though! (Hell relax babe…)

Btw I gotta go now. Congratulations on your wedding YOLA…He must be very lucky having you dear…I am truly deeply happy for you!

(Upps, could you please tell him my message YoL: “No POLYGAMY please”, LOL) .